When You Find a Friend

When You Find a Friend

May 22, 2015

When You Look For It

Every book I read growing up convinced me that I needed to have a "best friend." I had good friends in high school, but I wanted one person to confide in. Leave it to me, the lover of hate-to-love romances, to find a best friend in the one girl I'd always said I couldn't stand. She was nothing like I'd imagined, which taught me to stop assuming I knew anything about other people. For years, we'd laugh at the way our friendship started. With that crazy beginning, I thought I'd found someone who'd be my friend for the rest of my life.

When You Let It Go

Things changed in college. It didn't happen overnight, but I didn't see it coming either. It felt like it was happening at the worst possible time, and the whole situation was isolating and lonely. I was heartbroken, and it changed something in me. It sounds a little dramatic, but it's like I was mourning the friendship. I was, to be honest, bitter about the whole thing. I became insecure about my other friendships and distrustful of people.

When You Least Expect It

Around this same time, I moved into a house with two of my closest friends for my junior year of college. I was excited about living with them... but also kind of dreading it. You see a different side of people when you live with them, and I wondered what would happen next. One of those friends was a girl named Lauren. She was in my sorority, and I’d known her since freshman year. And despite all my insecurity about friendship at that point in time, I realized that I liked her even better the more I got to know her.

Fast forward eight years, and I recently got home from a trip to the beach with her. We ditched our husbands and spent five days in the Keys. It was, quite honestly, heavenly. We read books, ate an insane amount of chips and salsa, talked about the important and the silly stuff, shared memories and made new ones. And at one point on the trip, the thought crossed my mind – I would have missed out on this if I'd let my bad experience define my feelings on friendship.

When You Open Up

It's scary to to open your heart. It feels like a risk, and the reward isn't guaranteed. Sometimes you'll show a part of yourself to people who won't really see you. You'll let people in and later have to let them back out. You'll have friends for a season that you thought would last forever. But then there are moments that prove it's all worth it. There are people who remind you that being brave and loving deeply is how you're truly known.

The friendships with permanence, the ones that change you from the inside out, are the ones that are honest. I can talk to Lauren about everything from the color I painted my nails to the pain of dreams deferred. But at the end of the day, I'm often still cautious in friendship when I want to be courageous. So while my vacation offered much-needed relaxation, it was also an overdue reminder that there's beauty in loving other people.

When You Let People In

Eight years ago, I met Lauren and liked her. We went shopping for socials and debated options for date nights. We'd walk together to tail gates, and sweat our makeup off in the sun. We'd watch The Bachelorette in pajamas and had no shame in being the only adults in the theater for the Justin Bieber movie. We'd dance on bid day, roll our eyes at chapter, and tried to solve the mystery of who was stealing food from the snack room fridge.

In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth asks Darcy when he began loving her. He responds by telling her, "I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." That's what happened with Lauren. In the midst of all the silliness and shenanigans, I got to be real with her. It made all the difference, and my life is better because of it.

You never know who those people will be for you, but don't you want to find out? As a freshman in college, I didn't know where I'd be today. I lost one friend, but I gained one, too. One friend broke my heart and another friend helped it heal. And here's the thing – I'd go through it all again to end up where I am now. I can invite people into the mess or only let them see through a filter. I know which one feels safer, but I also know which one leads to real friendship.

I don't want to give up the chance at laughter in order to guard myself against tears. I want to show up – in the big moments and the small. To apologize and forgive. To ask questions and tell jokes. To be brave and a little scared. To see someone's story and be seen in return. So, here's to the friends who inspire all of that and more.

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Buy the Book / No. 3

Buy the Book / No. 3

May 21, 2015

Buy the Book is a monthly feature where I share a gift guide inspired by something I've read. It's a little play on "by the book" since all of the gifts come directly from quotes or scenes in the book featured and, you know, since it's all stuff you can buy. I'm including a snippet from the book for each item so you'll know why I picked it!

Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center

He turned and checked the backseat. "Yup. Duncan predicted you'd pack a cooler of snacks."

1. Stanley Adventure Cooler ($65) - You can tell what kind of person Helen is early on and learn that her brother seems to know her quirks. But you'll have to read to find out the other reason this item made the list.

This kid was not someone I could relate to. He adored my awful brother. He had ditched medical school for no apparent reason. And he was about to unzip his pants and relieve himself into an Evian bottle. In the passenger seat of my Subaru.

2. Evian Natural Spring Water, 24 Count ($29.38) - This moment made me laugh so hard! Helen sees Jake a certain way, but I could tell almost immediately that there was something intriguing behind all his teasing.

"The question is, do you want to play Scrabble?" He held out a box of travel Scrabble for me to see.

Of all things. My favorite game.

"I am way too tired to play Scrabble," I said. But he stepped closer and sat down on the bed. I let him.

3. Scrabble Folio Edition ($33.99) - The best part of this game of Scrabble is that there's a bet involved... and let's just say it's a scene you won't soon forget. You'll see a different side of Jake in this moment!

"Maybe you think you're a tough guy. But I'll tell you something: The only tough guy in the Absarokas is Mother Nature, and she is going to drag your ass up and down the block." / / "... I found I liked looking at contour maps. Everybody else seemed to see squiggly lines and patches of color. But I for some reason looked down and saw it all in 3-D."

4. National Geographic Absaroka - Beartooth Wilderness East Map ($11.95) - I absolutely loved the setting, so I had to include something for it. And Helen's unprepared for the wilderness, but her map skills come in handy!

"At Outfitting, I tried on several pairs of boots. Beckett said it was best to rent them unless you had your own well-broken-in pair, which I didn't, of course. The rental pairs were certainly well broken in -- by other people's stinky feet."

5. La Sportiva FC ECO 3.2 GTX Hiking Books ($175) - If you're going hiking, you definitely need some boots. While Helen rents her pair, I chose these with absolutely zero knowledge of hiking. Like Helen. (Beware of blisters!)

Windy also gleaned a lot of her wisdom about happiness, and what it is, and how to approach it, from a very thoughtful book by Richard O'Connor called Happy at Last: The Thinking Person's Guide to Finding Joy. Windy's idea of appreciating Three Good Things every day came from that book. {From the Acknowledgments}

6. Happy at Last: The Thinking Person's Guide to Finding Joy ($13.87) - Helen and another hiker discuss being happy and what you hold on to and remember about your life. It was one of my favorite parts of the book!

"Anyway, I brought you a present. To replace your lost list." He held out a folded piece of paper.

"What is it?"

"It's a poem."

"You wrote a poem?"

"No. It's Pablo Neruda. My favorite poem by my favorite poet."

7. One Hundred Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda ($15.45) - You'll have to read the book to find out why Helen loses her list, what was on it, and what poem she's handed. But trust me when I say it'll make you swoon.

"Sorry I broke your glasses," I said, as we started across the rocks to the path.

"Nah," Jake said, sliding the broken glasses arm into his pocket. "It's nothing a little duct tape can't fix." (218)

8. Warby Parker Winston Glasses ($95) - I just love Jake and his little hipster glasses! They are mentioned several times and are particularly important in this scene, though of course I can't tell you why. READ IT.

9. Duck Brand Metallic Color Duct Tape ($3.39) - You never know when you'll need a roll of duct tape, especially when you're out in the woods. This isn't even the first time it's used in the book either! Survival 101.

"In fact, in that moment, I was Pickle: a mangy-looking mini dachshund with a tail that never wagged and a foul temper. Maybe that's why we got along so well." (82)

10. My Dachshund Keychain ($8.95) - Oh, Pickle! While the dog on this keychain might be a little cuter than its literary counterpart, I couldn't resist including a little something to commemorate this crazy animal.

"If it were up to me, he'd be crammed back there with his duffel, and I'd be up front, alone with all the music I'd collected for the journey: Joni Mitchell, Nina Simone, Indigo Girls. The plan had been to sing my lungs out on the drive west, to team up with everybody from Annie Lennox to James Brown and belt out every emotion in the human repertoire. And then, hopefully, by the time I hit Wyoming, to be done with them all."

11. Joni Mitchell Hits ($5.99) - Helen has this vision for how her entire trip will go, and nothing turns out the way she plans. I liked that she had to let go of her expectations, especially since this was the least of the disruptions. 

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'Three Good Things.'

'Three Good Things.'

May 20, 2015

Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center

Release Date: March 24, 2015
Publisher: Macmillan | St. Martin's Griffin
Pages: 320 pages
Source & Format: Bought; Paperback
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Summary (from Goodreads)

A year after getting divorced, Helen Carpenter, thirty-two, lets her annoying, ten years younger brother talk her into signing up for a wilderness survival course. It's supposed to be a chance for her to pull herself together again, but when she discovers that her brother's even-more-annoying best friend is also coming on the trip, she can't imagine how it will be anything other than a disaster. Thus begins the strangest adventure of Helen's well-behaved life: three weeks in the remotest wilderness of a mountain range in Wyoming where she will survive mosquito infestations, a surprise summer blizzard, and a group of sorority girls.

Yet, despite everything, the vast wilderness has a way of making Helen's own little life seem bigger, too. And, somehow the people who annoy her the most start teaching her the very things she needs to learn. Like how to stand up for herself. And how being scared can make you brave. And how sometimes you just have to get really, really lost before you can even have a hope of being found.

Thoughts on Happiness for Beginners

Happiness for Beginners wasn't on my radar until Estelle from Rather Be Reading tweeted about it. Then, she wrote a note about it on Goodreads, and it was her reference to Liza Palmer that sold me. You may already know, but I'm a huge fan of Liza Palmer. That's all it took to convince me I needed to look into this book!

A few days later, I was browsing in the book section of Target. It's the same place where I discovered my first (and favorite) Liza book - Nowhere but Home - so it's probably fitting that I'd stumble upon this one there, too. With a gift card burning a hole in my pocket and Estelle's praise bouncing around in my brain, I grabbed this book, read two pages, and immediately took it to the check out. Once I got home, I took a quick picture for Instagram and figured I'd stick it on my shelf for later. But I couldn't get those first two pages out of my mind, and I realized I was desperate to know more about these characters and what happened next. I planned to read a few chapters that night... and then stayed up until I'd read the whole book.

I finished the book and knew it was going to be an all-time favorite for me. I texted Estelle to freak out over the book with her, and then I told at least four of my friends that they had to read it. And the best part? I pushed it so hard (and apparently so effectively) that two of them bought it the next day and both read it within the week. Yes, y'all, it was that kind of book for me. It's one that I read at exactly the right time and made me wonder, "What if I'd gone my whole life without reading this book?!" Because honestly the summary didn't sound bad, but it wasn't calling my name either. Thank goodness I listened to Estelle!

At it's core, Happiness for Beginners is a simple and somewhat familiar story. Helen Carpenter is thirty-two, divorced, and determined to get a new perspective on life. She signs up for a wilderness survival course when her annoying younger brother suggests it - though he certainly wasn't expecting her to follow through by choosing the most dangerous one available. Helen thinks it will be the chance she needs to reinvent herself, until she finds out that her brother's even-more-annoying best friend will be there, too. She's not sure what to expect on this three-week adventure, but she's in for quite the surprise.

While the summary seemed a bit generic to me, the story inside was anything but. Katherine Center's writing took this story to another level. I cared about the characters from the very first page and that continued until the very last one. I fell in love with Helen - her heartbreak in the past, her discomfort in the present, and her hope for the future. She was both vulnerable and guarded, weak and strong, brave and scared. I could relate to her on so many levels, despite having very different life experiences, and it made me so attached to her story. There's someone else inside who really stole my heart, but I don't want to give too much away. Let's just say that the guy in this book is now firmly in my list of top ten favorite book boys... and maybe even in the top five. He's smart, passionate, kind, helpful, and will have you swooning as soon as you get to know him.

This book contained some of my all-time favorite dialogue, and I can only hope I'll find more of the same in the author's backlist. It's so sharp and witty - I wanted to underline whole sections of it and read it aloud to my husband. With great writing and fantastic characters, I knew within a few chapters that I was already obsessed with this book. And then I realized that the setting was excellent, too. I'm not really an outdoor person. I've gone camping, hiking, and rafting before, but it's not my preferred way to spend my leisure time. However, I identified with Helen's reaction to the wilderness and just loved the way it came alive on the page. I didn't necessarily want to join her there, but I can't complain about experiencing it through her while reading.

And ultimately, I loved the heart of this book. I was rooting for Helen and adored her personal growth. I desperately want to talk to you about some of the themes, but I feel like it's kind of thing that's best if it slowly works its way into your heart while you read. There are some profound ideas expressed, and I imagine that every reader will find a different one that speaks to them.

Happiness for Beginners exceeded all of my expectations, and it's earned a spot on my forever favorites shelf. I started flipping back through to find a quote for my review, and ended up reading it again. If I love a book enough to read it twice in one month, it's definitely earned my highest rating! It's about getting lost so you can be found. Seeing with your heart, and not just your eyes. Finding and choosing to remember the happiness around you. It's got hope, longing, anticipation and more on every page. BUY IT, AND I'M NOT SAYING PLEASE.

So Quotable

"But the things we remember are what we hold on to, and what we hold on to becomes the story of our lives. We only get one story. And I am determined to make mine a good one."

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Best of Blogging

Best of Blogging

May 19, 2015

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by The Broke and The Bookish. Every week they post a new topic/top ten list and invite everyone to share their own answers. I'm so obsessed with lists - so it makes perfect sense that I'd love this feature!

Top Ten Favorite Posts on My Blog

When I discover a new-to-me blog, I'm so excited if they highlight some of their favorite or most popular blog posts in their About section or sidebar. It gives me a feel for their writing style and what best represents their blog. A few months ago, Renae from Respiring Thoughts used a freebie Top Ten Tuesday to share ten of her favorite blog posts that she'd written in the last three years. I absolutely loved the idea, and it gives me the motivation I needed to add a few favorite posts to my Hey Y'all page. So, here are ten of my favorite posts from the last four years of this crazy, but amazing, journey.

1. "I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."

To celebrate 200 years of Pride and Prejudice, I spent a week talking about my lifelong love for this classic. I admitted to collecting copies of the book - something that started accidentally and grew into an addiction. My collection has changed since then (so many new copies!), but this post has remained one of my favorites.

2. I'm Series-ly Addicted

This post is one of my favorites because it contains two things I absolutely adore: discussions about series and Britney Spears gifs. I talked about the different paths my series addiction can take, and I still remember how much fun I had brainstorming the different "types" and figuring out what series matched each one.

3. What Kind of Reader Are You?

I made it a goal to write more discussions posts in 2014, and this favorite came out of a conversation and read-along with Kelly from Belle of the Literati. She's an emotional reader, but I tend to be more analytical. I shared differences between the two types and admitted that I enjoy reading critical reviews of my favorite books. 

4. The Facts About Non-Fiction

I'd had the idea for this post simmering around in my brain for a few weeks before I finally wrote it. It was so time consuming! Looking back, I'm so glad I went for it. I'm a big fan of non-fiction, and I loved sharing advice on how to find the right non-fiction for you. I like talking about stuff that's not discussed often by other bloggers!

5. To Thine Own Self Be True

While I've loved blogging, it's definitely changed the way I read. I've written a number of posts about those changes, but this one was an important reminder to myself. I'm inundated with opinions on books every day, but I read for me. I want to trust my gut and not pay too much attention to ratings and reviews from others.

6. The Wonders of Wunderlist

Although Get Organized on Goodreads post is my most popular blog post, this one is my personal favorite. I love creating tutorials and sharing organization tips, so this post is very representative of the way I try to go "beyond books" on my blog. I'm always on the hunt for cool things I can get everyone else obsessed with, too!

7. Lynburn Legacy Love

Of all the reviews I've written on my blog, this one will always be my favorite. I binge read this series and absolutely fell in love with it. I don't think I've ever had so much to say about a book before, but I love the way the post turned out. Even better? I've been told it convinced a number of people to give these books a shot!

8. A Book for Every {Fantasy} Reader

If you'd told me four years ago that I'd start reading fantasy (let alone love it enough to host an event about it), I would have thought you were insane. I don't know when and how it happened, but blogging changed all of that. This post represents how my reading tastes have expanded and it's with Alexa from Alexa Loves Books!

9. Ten Ways to Win My Heart

I knew I wanted to include at least one Top Ten Tuesday post among my favorites, but which one?! Of course, it had to be the "Top Ten Things I LOVE in Love Stories." I loved talking about my favorite types of romances, the they evoke, the moments that make me swoon and pairing each one with the perfect gif.

10. My Foxy Dori & Other Favorites

The post that sparked a blogging trend! I've loved May Books for a long time, but I didn't discover traveler's notebooks until earlier this year. I decided to write a post about my newest obsession, and then I got the book blogging world hooked on them. Like I said, I love talking about organization and cool things I find online!

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Series Speed Date: Round #8

Series Speed Date: Round #8

May 18, 2015

This section will cover any key details about the series.

The Scarlet Series by A.C. Gaughen

Books In Series: Scarlet, Lady Thief and Lion Heart

Released: February 2012 | February 2014 | May 2015

Publisher: Bloomsbury | Walker Children's

Pages: 287 pages | 308 pages | 348 pages

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What do these covers say about this series?

These covers aren't my favorite, but I don't hate them! My favorite aspect is how Scarlet is portrayed on them. On Scarlet, you see the way she clothes herself as a boy... though I refuse to believe that anyone would be fooled by this disguise. On Lady Thief it feels like she's on the prowl for something and trying to stay hidden, which I love. She's the most feminine version of herself on Lion Heart, and I think it's fitting for the story inside.

Based on the summary, what can you expect going into this series?

The Scarlet series is a retelling of the Robin Hood story. If you're familiar with the folklore about this heroic outlaw, you may have more expectations going into the story. My only previous experience with Robin Hood is the Disney movie, and I know from other Disney movies that their version isn't always close to the source material. I knew he stole from the rich to give to the poor and was aided by his band of "Merry Men." I didn't know much else, but A.C. Gaughen doesn't focus on Robin Hood. Instead, her story centers on Will Scarlet - a character from the original legends. In this version, Will Scarlet is a girl. It's a secret known only to Robin and his men, but even they don't know much about her. When a legendary thief taker arrives in Nottingham, Scarlet's past catches up to her and everyone is in danger because of it. I was so excited to read Scarlet once I read the summary because it promised danger, adventure, bravery, loyalty and love. And it absolutely delivers!

What are some highlights of the series?

An exciting twist on a familiar, legendary tale.
A resourceful and brave heroine fleeing past demons and meeting new foes.

A handsome and honorable outlaw who wants to protect the people under his watch.

A pair of kind and loyal friends who will do anything for the ones they love.

A petulant and evil prince who stops at nothing to get his own way and gain the throne.

A world where the rich prosper, the poor suffer, and it's a risk to do what's right.
A story of past regrets, remarkable secrets, beautiful friendships and incredible strength.
A love story that defies the odds and overcomes the obstacles.
An epic and emotional tale infused with humor and hope.

How will you feel closing the last page?

Emotionally drained! I binge read the entire series in less than a week, and I was anxious and nervous for these characters the entire time I was reading. Scarlet has this rough, lower-class dialect that totally works for her character, but it threw me off the first time I sampled this book. So, I decided I was going to listen to Scarlet on audiobook instead. While I loved the reader, I ended up ditching it about four hours in because I HAD to pick up the book myself to read faster. The characters are headstrong and occasionally frustrating, but they won my heart from the very beginning. I was rooting for them and completely hooked on their story.

While Scarlet was an exciting read, Lady Thief absolutely blew me away. It took the tension to a whole different level, and I think I cried at least three times while I was reading it. The stakes are higher than ever, and I honestly didn't know how in the world these characters would make it out alive. No one told me that Gaughen was going to take my heart and practically traumatize it in the second book! There's definitely no "middle book syndrome" at play here. In fact, Lady Thief was my favorite book in the entire trilogy. 

By the time I got to Lion Heart, I was scared. Gaughen had already put these characters through the ringer... What was coming next?! While the plot of Lion Heart was probably the weakest of the three books, I thought it was an emotionally satisfying read. The romance takes center stage, and I had absolutely no complaints about that fact. I was desperately in need of swoon after the emotional devastation of the previous book! It didn't have the same tension as the previous books and was a bit anticlimactic, but I still loved the book overall. My one issue? I wish the book had just one more chapter, or possibly an Epilogue, because it ends a bit abruptly. I needed just a little more in those final moments, but I still loved this series!

Summing up this series in just three words?

Romantic. Emotional. Heart-Pounding. 

Is this series worth your time?

I would recommend this series! I flew through these books, and I love when I get so invested in a story that I almost forget the characters aren't real. It read like a cross between fantasy and historical fiction, and it made me even more curious about the legend of Robin Hood. I might have to do some more research about him now! While Lady Thief was definitely the standout book, I thoroughly enjoyed spending my time with Scarlet, Rob, and the rest of the gang. But be warned - these books are an emotional roller coaster. Prepare your heart... and possibly have tissues on hand. I considered giving these a Commit rating because I see myself re-reading them, but I think the series overall is a bit inconsistent so I downgraded them one level in my scale.

*I received a copy of Lion Heart from the publisher for review consideration. This did not affect my opinion of the book or my review.

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