Putting Twitter in Time Out

Putting Twitter in Time Out

• Apr 18, 2014

Y'all, I gotta put my mama pants on for a second. In other words: we need to talk.

I had a personal Twitter account long before I started blogging, but I didn't create an account for my blog until a few months after I started writing in this little corner of the world. I had no idea what I was missing out on! Becoming active on Twitter had a huge impact on the growth of my blog. The more I interacted with people, the more blogs I found to read. And the more blogs I visited, the more I put myself out there and started building relationships with people.

Needless to say, I fell in love with Twitter because it helped me talk with fun, bookish people around the world. It was so addicting! I wasn't tweeting a ton, but I was constantly joining in on awesome conversations. But I've noticed that I don't get on as much lately. And when I do, I'm not as excited about scrolling through my feed. Mostly, I just respond to mentions.

So, what's changed? Honestly, I've been really discouraged lately whenever I get on. I'm an adult with a husband and a job... and I thought that I'd left high school behavior behind. I'm sure this has been going on for ages, but it's only lately that I feel like I'm seeing it happen so often:

Vague tweets criticizing or complaining about 

other bloggers without actually identifying them.

Y'all, it's driving me crazy. You know why? It absolutely sucks when you think that you either recognize yourself or one of your friends in a tweet like that. It's so hurtful and frustrating because what can you say or do in response? The worst part is the fact that it's vague so everyone starts responding asking what happened. Whether the person responds publicly or moves it to DMs, the conversation still started in full view of everyone.

Listen, sometimes people say or do things that irritates others. The natural inclination is then to vent about it. I get it. I promise that I do. But I work with social media everyday for my job, and I'm constantly amazed by the things that people put online. Is a vague tweet about someone a huge deal in the grand scheme of things or that bad in comparison to some of the other stuff I've seen? No way. But it's still hurtful.

Here's the thing I always find a little baffling about public complaints or grievances: they're often talking about people often who follow them on Twitter and sometimes even people that they follow back. Being vague may keep someone else's name out of it, but it doesn't take away the sting of hurt. And chances are that the person who is the subject of the tweet is going to see it at some point.

We call it a book blogging community, which (to me) implies that there's a relational aspect. It's not just a group of people with shared interests. Or, at least, I'd like to think that it's more than the disconnectedness that simply the word "group" implies. So, why do I feel like my stomach is in knots when I sign in? I don't have the energy or desire to surround myself with drama, and I want blogging and social media to be FUN.

Rather than secretly be sad about it, I figured I should just lay it out there. I'm tired of seeing bloggers use social media to complain or talk about other bloggers. To me, it's not the right forum for it. Someone makes you mad? Totally fine. Feel free to talk and complain about it all you want. But think about doing it privately instead.

Here are questions that I think are worth asking before posting something on social media:

1. Does this need to be said?
2. Does this add value?
3. Would I say this face-to-face?
4. What's my motivation for saying it?
5. Could saying this have any consequences?

Listen, I don't mind vague tweets for the most part, but I do when they are about people. There's a person behind the computer. A living, breathing person with feelings, whether or not you like them. I'm not calling for a revolution or anything - just a little consideration. I want Twitter to be a place that's welcoming, inviting, and enjoyable. Sure, there will always be spam and random crazies... but I want the lame side of Twitter to be limited to trolls and not to the bloggers that I've chosen to follow.

I'm not your mama, and I can't tell anyone how to tweet. But I can throw my two cents in, and tell you where I'm at right now. Tweeting about other people is rude, even if their name is never mentioned. They may have been rude first, but my mama always told me: you can't control other people but you can control how you react. I'm not perfect, and I certainly don't get it right all the time. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to be respectful, think about others and be thoughtful in everything that I say and do.

My personal rule of thumb:

If I wouldn't say it to your face, I won't say it online at all.